There's A Party Up In Huuurrr!

Frustration.

I don't do it well.

I've been known to throw temper tantrums when frustrated. I've thrown things, hit things, destroyed things. Said things I ought not.

Needless to say, I generally avoid situations where I will become frustrated. If I'm trying something new and it's not easy right away, I generally give up.

I know this is not the most healthy, or adult way to handle things, but I actually have come a long way. I'm learning to stay calm in crazy situations, and I'm learning to calm myself when frustrated,(Cue: massive amounts of Bible verses) to realize that it's never the end of the world...or at least it hasn't been up to this point.

I recently read an article about a woman who decided to row solo across the Atlantic Ocean. She said there were definitely times she wanted to give up, but in the end, the only thing worse than continuing on was quitting.

This has inspired me, because recently, I have become frustrated at my job, and with the overall general direction of my  life.

Quitting my job is not an option, but caring about it or, more importantly, caring about the quality of my work is. I want to feel as though I'm making a difference. It is frustrating beyond belief.

I am at the point where I don't know what else to try. I feel that after five years, I should be an expert at this. Instead, I just realize how far I have to go.

And, while I am frustrated, while a part of me wants to give up, I know I cannot. It has nothing to do with the job and everything to do with the my heart.

So I'll keep plugging on...and tomorrow, maybe I'll actually feel like I'm doing something right. For now, my pity party and I are going to try not to take it personal.