Talkin' Trash

Lately I feel like I have been on the very brink of madness. There is just a whole lot going on in my life. Disagreements, ill children, grandma's with cancer, dad's with strokes, personal health concerns, etc.

You get the picture.

It's made me irritable, testy, and down right unpleasant to anyone sorry enought to cross my path.

I really hope this is just a season.

Strike that!

My husband really hopes this is just a season. (I think I caught him online shoppin' for shot guns and  caskets!)

Do you ever go through those times where other peoples voices or actions are likened to nails on a chalkboard? Those same voices that at one time tinkled like the sweetest of windchimes riding upon a sultry ocean breeze.

Oscar ain't got nothing on me! I'd so kick that green dust mop out of his pile of tin and convert it to my very own PINK-Pouty-palace- Pail of PMS!

Yep.... I'm that bad right now.

Insetad I want to love.

I do!

I want to love those people that make life difficult. Those people that are hard to love. Those people that scratch on my chalkbaord 24/7.

I am one of those people to someone else . Probably a lot of someone else's he he.

I want the Lord to give me that impossible gift. You know... the one that can only come from God. (Like being a missionary in a Leper colony.) Now if that doesn't have G-O-D written all over it I don't know what does.

I need a major tune-up in the heart department.  I want to esteem others better than myself. The Lord has searched my heart and brought all of the impurities to the surface once again. (He likes to do that you know).

Today is a new day. I'm taking out the trash........ and it's going in Oscar's can!

Memoirs Of The Medically Fat

 

I have been living a never ending nightmare of a life for the past year now.

Last September I had my gall bladder removed because it had ruptured and was poisoning the inside of my body.

Done.

Now one year and 70 extra pounds later I have coined the term "medically fat" to explain my condition and extra added girth.

The gastroentenoligist has told me that I now have extra bile gathering in my stomach because I have no gall bladder to store it in.  Awesome!

Extra bile + no gall bladder = 1 "medically fat" mama!

I have tried everything from dieting, joining the old ladies gym (Curves), to starving myself! Nothing works. I can literally smell a cookie and instantly gain 5 pounds. Ladies this is no good!

Alas, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Next week they want to stick a camera down my throat to explore the inside of my "medically fat" body and decide what to do with me. Medicine to control "bile reflux" means my medical fatness will soon go away.

Stand by.

Imperfectly Perfect Take 2

So previously I stated that I was set free of this Body of Flesh that I reside in.

FAIL.

I've fallen prey to myself once again. I spent the better portion of my night wide awake, eyes swollen, snotty-nosed, crying into my "poor me" pillow.

A comment that was meant in jest rocked my world last night. It caught me off guard and made me realize...

 I'm not so strong am I?

It made me realize that I cannot declare myself free, and think that it is a one-time declaration. I need to submit myself daily, hourly,.... by the second to the Lord. I'm just not that strong.

Satan's attacks are so very subtle. That sly devil snuck right up on me and pulled the rug out from under my "oh so free" feet!

As a woman we need to know at some point in the day that we are admired. That we are attractive. That we are cherished. That we are desired etc..... the list goes on ladies right?

But..... and it's a very big butt (no pun intended)

If we are to ever truly have that peace that surpasses understanding, we need to continually look to God for that re-assurance. He will never tell you how fat you are. He will never tell you how frizzy your hair is in the morning..... if not immediately blow dryed. Best of all He will never tell you that you are not good enough.

He see's you perfect in His Son. He looks through a Jesus framed mirror. I have one of those mirrors hangin' around I just sometimes forget to look in it. I'm like the wicked Step-Mother in Snow White. "Mirror. mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all".

I just don't like it when the jerk says "Megan, megan not so pretty....... is your face oh what a pity! :(

I resolve......once again to lean upon the One who is strong enough to hold me up. Who tells me how lovely I am. Who see's me in His beautiful Son as Imperfectly Perfect. Jesus made the way for me to be called His Chosen One.

He loves me for who I am.

Imperfectly Perfect

"Love the skin you're in", "Get your best body ever", "Lose those last last ten pounds", "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels", "Size 0 is the new size 6", blah,blah,blah,blah!

That's the world's message to young and old women alike. We struggle within a world that refuses to take the spotlight off of what size you are!

And it's no wonder! Every Magazine that graces the news stands these days start with some title referring to ones self and how you can beautify & better it.

In Style, Cosmopolitan, Self, Glamour, Vogue, Shape, Allure, etc. with all of the articles enclosed guiding and directing us desperate women on the fine art of looking like the model that graced the cover.

Women who are insecure about their bodies are more likely to buy beauty products, new clothes, and diet aids. What a fortune these companies are making off of us!  I think what is the most disturbing fact of all  is that the media images of female beauty are unattainable for all but a very small number of women.

Not me. I'm done.

As a Christian women I know better. But..... I still live in this body of flesh, I still give into the sly whispers of Satan, I still believe that last article telling me it's as simple as A,B,& C.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well. Pslm 139:14

What does it mean to be fearfully and wonderfully made?

I can't give you a accademically correct answer but I can tell you what it means to me.

It means I believe you Lord. It means you said it, and I am going to believe it. It means that I am no longer going to worry and fret if I can never obtain a perfect by the world's standards size zero frame, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Beleive this. There is power in His word, and it truly has set me free.