You've managed to be a truth teller and a soft place for me to fall.
You love me all the time.
My messy heart is safe with you.
You are a gift I don't take for granted.
Ever.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
The Road Ahead
It's been awhile since I've last blogged.
I've come here several times.
So much to write about.
Too much to say.
So I didn't.
Why?
Because sometimes life is more than words. Sometimes an emotion, or an event is just too big to be penned.
Things happen, life changes. Sometimes abruptly, sometimes with a slow maddening pace.
But it happens.
The Road Ahead for me has many bends and breaks.
Sometimes I've traveled down it several times, sometimes it dead ends, but it's my journey and I'm learning to just go with every twist and turn life has to offer.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Contemplating
It's funny.
When I googled the word "contemplate" then looked at the images google produced, they are all of various types of people gazing out over vast stretches of beautiful scenery.
All of them wearing this look of deep concentration across their brows while managing to keep this serene "I'm at complete peace with my life" etching displayed along the fine lines of their lips.
My first thought. What a complete crock!
It's funny the images the world will use to portray a simple word.
Contemplation for me..in my reality is a whole lot uglier. You won't get any breathtaking sceneries. Most likely being a chubby girl curled up on her side staring across her messy bed at all of the imperfections her bedroom contains. Yeah I know (glass half empy blah blah blah).
It's just that I think we (as in the world) have a very sordid viewpoint of what life is or what it should be.
We walk around with rose-colored glasses on. Making life oh-so-rosy and ripe. When in reality sometimes it's colored black and white. Sometimes it's watery like a spilled drink on a watercolor painting.Sometimes it's just various hues and shades that make no sense at all.
What is the point you say of this meaningless rant?
I. Don't. Know.
I'm contemplating that.
When I googled the word "contemplate" then looked at the images google produced, they are all of various types of people gazing out over vast stretches of beautiful scenery.
All of them wearing this look of deep concentration across their brows while managing to keep this serene "I'm at complete peace with my life" etching displayed along the fine lines of their lips.
My first thought. What a complete crock!
It's funny the images the world will use to portray a simple word.
Contemplation for me..in my reality is a whole lot uglier. You won't get any breathtaking sceneries. Most likely being a chubby girl curled up on her side staring across her messy bed at all of the imperfections her bedroom contains. Yeah I know (glass half empy blah blah blah).
It's just that I think we (as in the world) have a very sordid viewpoint of what life is or what it should be.
We walk around with rose-colored glasses on. Making life oh-so-rosy and ripe. When in reality sometimes it's colored black and white. Sometimes it's watery like a spilled drink on a watercolor painting.Sometimes it's just various hues and shades that make no sense at all.
What is the point you say of this meaningless rant?
I. Don't. Know.
I'm contemplating that.
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Color Of Fear
It comes in all shades and hues.
Most recently the color of her black rimmed blue eyes set far back in her smooth newly pale white bald head.
Or is it clear? The color of multiple amounts of salty tears falling freely down faces.
Nothing is colored beautiful as long as her light blues portray the color Cancer.
Most recently the color of her black rimmed blue eyes set far back in her smooth newly pale white bald head.
Or is it clear? The color of multiple amounts of salty tears falling freely down faces.
Nothing is colored beautiful as long as her light blues portray the color Cancer.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
She's My Best Friend
and..... she is my Sister.
AND she has cancer.
AnD
I
H
A
T
E
everything about it.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
34 @ 34
1. Mistakes are just lessons learned the hard way.
2. The perfect diet does not exist
3. Always greet people with a smile.
4. You can't control other people, only your reactions to them.
5. Everyone is your equal... wait.... what?
6. We are all just trying to figure our complications out.
7. It turns out tanning can kill you.. pale is in !
8. Friends come and go and that's okay.
9. We live in a cause-and-effect world, so if you don't like the effect, change the cause.
10. If it tastes delicious, it's bad for you. TRUE STORY
11. Your looks don't make you ugly, but your personality just might.
12. Smiles are beautiful.
13. Laughter is the best medicine... and, whoever said that is a bad liar.
14. Duck face does not make you look sexy.... lets post some new pics girls.. really.
15. Neither do bathroom pics.
16. Grey hair is not so easy to cover these days.
17. Confidence is attractive.
18. Persistence overcomes resistance.
19. Consistency is the key to results... I will forever be learning this
20. Habits are hard to break.... *(see previous line)
21. If you find yourself bored a lot, know that life is not boring...you are.
22. You can tell a lot about how a person's views themselves by how they talk about other people.
23. Family is irreplaceable
24. The only limits you have are those you believe in..... (I read that somewhere.. complete junk)
25. God is abundant.
26. Walking away from a fight does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you the opposite.
27. There is nothing wrong with getting what you want as long as your intent is pure.
28. Cancer knows no boundries in what it will and won't take.
29. God is good period.
30. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy shoes, which is practically the same thing.
31. If there is negative energy in your life, it is there because you allowed it.
32. Husbands are not perfect, nor will they ever be so you might as well learn it in the beginning.
33. Find something you're passionate about and do it. Life is too short to do anything else.
34. Im saved by grace, and its because of Gods grace I can walk freely in the knowledge of just who I am.
2. The perfect diet does not exist
3. Always greet people with a smile.
4. You can't control other people, only your reactions to them.
5. Everyone is your equal... wait.... what?
6. We are all just trying to figure our complications out.
7. It turns out tanning can kill you.. pale is in !
8. Friends come and go and that's okay.
9. We live in a cause-and-effect world, so if you don't like the effect, change the cause.
10. If it tastes delicious, it's bad for you. TRUE STORY
11. Your looks don't make you ugly, but your personality just might.
12. Smiles are beautiful.
13. Laughter is the best medicine... and, whoever said that is a bad liar.
14. Duck face does not make you look sexy.... lets post some new pics girls.. really.
15. Neither do bathroom pics.
16. Grey hair is not so easy to cover these days.
17. Confidence is attractive.
18. Persistence overcomes resistance.
19. Consistency is the key to results... I will forever be learning this
20. Habits are hard to break.... *(see previous line)
21. If you find yourself bored a lot, know that life is not boring...you are.
22. You can tell a lot about how a person's views themselves by how they talk about other people.
23. Family is irreplaceable
24. The only limits you have are those you believe in..... (I read that somewhere.. complete junk)
25. God is abundant.
26. Walking away from a fight does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you the opposite.
27. There is nothing wrong with getting what you want as long as your intent is pure.
28. Cancer knows no boundries in what it will and won't take.
29. God is good period.
30. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy shoes, which is practically the same thing.
31. If there is negative energy in your life, it is there because you allowed it.
32. Husbands are not perfect, nor will they ever be so you might as well learn it in the beginning.
33. Find something you're passionate about and do it. Life is too short to do anything else.
34. Im saved by grace, and its because of Gods grace I can walk freely in the knowledge of just who I am.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Fat Girls Shop. Too
I Love Fashion.
Not exactly a profound statement. But for someone who looks like me, and has looked like me throughout the last several years, it's been a hard one.
For years I have felt shut out of the Fashion Process.
What's that clothing industry? You're giving me Torrid, AND Lane Bryant? WOW! You really shouldn't have. NO Really....
You shouldn't have.
Cause' thankfully now I can buy super expensive clothes that some what resemble the clothes that everyone else on the face of the planet is wearing.
Cheaper plus size shops pop up here and there, and it's nice to have a more affordable option but let's face it... who wants to wear Tweety Bird or Long Flannel House Dresses?
Why should they design for plus size? Not to mention when I go to Old Navy or even Gap the large sizes are all gone cause you know they only carried 2 to begin with, and I'm left with extra small or size 0 to choose from cause they had 50 of those on order.
There clearly isn't a profitable market for plus size women. I mean that's just basic math right?
Thankfully, they ALLOW us to order online because you know if there is anyone who doesn't need to try on clothes it's plus size women right?
WAIT, is this our real life Hunger Games? A way for the clothing manufacturers to remind us that we are less than, and to be thankful for the XXL bone they toss to every shipment leaving us to square off with the other curvy girl that needs the shirt, probably just as badly, you know, to have something cute,to eat in?
And then something snapped. I found this. My how we have changed.
Motivation.
I've spent the last year getting to know my body.re-learning how to dress it, and with that returned my love of fashion.
I've decided I don't want to feel shut out anymore. I am a person worth designing for.
So what's wrong with a plus size body?
Not a blasted thing!!
Fat, thin, whatever... I'm Me, and I'm done hiding behind society's stereo types of what I should be.
Not exactly a profound statement. But for someone who looks like me, and has looked like me throughout the last several years, it's been a hard one.
For years I have felt shut out of the Fashion Process.
What's that clothing industry? You're giving me Torrid, AND Lane Bryant? WOW! You really shouldn't have. NO Really....
You shouldn't have.
Cause' thankfully now I can buy super expensive clothes that some what resemble the clothes that everyone else on the face of the planet is wearing.
Cheaper plus size shops pop up here and there, and it's nice to have a more affordable option but let's face it... who wants to wear Tweety Bird or Long Flannel House Dresses?
Why should they design for plus size? Not to mention when I go to Old Navy or even Gap the large sizes are all gone cause you know they only carried 2 to begin with, and I'm left with extra small or size 0 to choose from cause they had 50 of those on order.
There clearly isn't a profitable market for plus size women. I mean that's just basic math right?
Thankfully, they ALLOW us to order online because you know if there is anyone who doesn't need to try on clothes it's plus size women right?
WAIT, is this our real life Hunger Games? A way for the clothing manufacturers to remind us that we are less than, and to be thankful for the XXL bone they toss to every shipment leaving us to square off with the other curvy girl that needs the shirt, probably just as badly, you know, to have something cute,to eat in?
And then something snapped. I found this. My how we have changed.
Motivation.
I've spent the last year getting to know my body.re-learning how to dress it, and with that returned my love of fashion.
I've decided I don't want to feel shut out anymore. I am a person worth designing for.
So what's wrong with a plus size body?
Not a blasted thing!!
Fat, thin, whatever... I'm Me, and I'm done hiding behind society's stereo types of what I should be.
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